Black & Beautiful

As a young girl, I was conditioned by the media to look and act a certain way. I was taught that white beauty is superior to black beauty. And being a young girl of colour, I was conditioned to think that I was never good enough, and will never be good enough. There was also the added bonus that I was a girl and was conditioned that I should cater to men. The thing that makes me feel worst is that I believed it for so long and only recently started to see why these images that are painted by predominantly white men, is a big problem. When I was about 7 years old and my mother would still brush my hair, I would often ask, “mommy, why do I have to have black hair? Why can’t I have nice Indian hair like you?” She would always respond with “I don’t know, but you should appreciate what you have. You have beautiful hair.” I wasn’t aware of the weight of my question at the time because I was constantly exposed to images of white beauty and what I should look like. As a 7 year old girl, I am still extremely impressionable and I didn’t realize that I don’t have to be white to be beautiful. Luckily my father was always there to lead me on the right path. He would always tell me that even if I was black as night, he would love me all the same. He taught me that black women are just as strong and powerful as the white woman. He had me grow up with positive black female role models like Queen Latifa, my hairdresser (who I will not name, because I do not have her permission), my great grandmother, my mama (who is actually a family friend), my actual mama, and the list goes on. My father put great emphasis into understanding that black people are worth just as much as white people and I should NEVER compare myself to them. Something my dad did when I was small and was still playing with dolls, that I never understood at the time, was he only had me buy and play with black dolls. I was only ever allowed to play with black dolls and it was funny because every time we went to the store, it was a big problem to find just one black doll. I still remember every single time we would have to go to the cashier and ask her where the black dolls were. And the thing is she or he would never know. I had no idea that this was a very big problem at the time and now looking back I’m very glad I was only allowed to play with black dolls. Now as a teenager that is beginning to understand how the world works, I will never apologize for being black. Being a black female is very important and I should always love where I come from. Because God made me this way for a reason and I’m going to own it.

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